Why should you write one? It depends on a few factors.
How to write a letter to your daughter might be more complicated than you think. It could be stressful and painful as you visit the past and remember the mistakes you made.
Here’s why you should write one:
- If your relationship is strained.
- If you feel guilty about how you treated her in the past.
- If you want your relationship to be closer.
- If you feel she misunderstands you.
- It will also be a lesson for her that you will make mistakes and sometimes need to apologize.
- To be happier and rebuild your relationship with your daughter.
Your relationship may be strained because of her age (teenager) or because of past incidents that created distance, and you may have forgotten the incident but she still remembers.
If she’s a teenager remember she’s caught in the middle of two worlds, child, and adult. She doesn’t want to be viewed or treated like a child and you refused to let her be an adult. Instead, you are still trying to control her life and on one hand, she knows that what she needs but on the other hand, she wants her independence.
If you made some bad choices in the past that was painful for her and it appeared to her that you didn’t care. But, you are uncomfortable explaining those things to her because it will be tough on both of you.
Overall, you have a pretty good relationship with your daughter but you feel she keeps a lot of things from you because she’s afraid of your reaction.
If she is distant and uncooperative depending on her age, you may feel she is angry about something but it’s hard to get her to talk about it.
Writing a letter to your daughter under this circumstance may be a bit more challenging
We live in a time when the need for connection and love is stronger. There are so many forces trying to control your life but the one thing you can control is doing your best for those you love.
How to write a letter to your Daughter
- Be observant regarding her behavior towards you and yours toward her.
- Think about what type of relationship you want to have with her and why you don’t have that relationship now.
- Be honest with what happened in the past to yourself and to her.
- Don’t make excuses or try to minimize the incident instead acknowledge that it was wrong and apologize for your involvement. In some cases, it may be necessary to explain why you made those choices.
- Apologize for the treatment she had to endure regardless of her age. She needs to know that you care and that you are owning the choice, and saying that you were wrong.
Also. consider your relationship with your mother, is it close to a relationship if so, great. If not, why not?
It’s important not to repeat the same mistakes if possible that your mother made, instead learn and grow from them.
So, if your relationship is poor with your mother and daughter now is a good time to think about why you are upset with your mother.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- When did your relationship become distant?
- What did she do that made you angry?
- Why haven’t you talked to her about it? Or are you waiting for her?
- Why haven’t you forgiven her yet
- Do you have a sense that history is repeating itself?
Sometimes, when things are hard, we want to ignore them and hope they go away but normally that does not happen; instead, they become our life’s regret.
What are you going to do now? Nothing, and keep things the way they are because it’s easy and see what happens in the future.
Or are you going to stand up and do something different to improve your relationship with your daughter (s)?
The choice is yours to make!
I believe if we can heal this relationship on a real level, it can teach women how to heal their relationship in the future leading to much happier lives. Having a poor relationship with your mother, especially for teens and young adults can make them angry and anger can lead to bad life choices that can affect their lives for a lifetime.