15 Things Your Mother Forgot To Tell You

The things your mother forgot to tell you because there were so many other things you needed to know.

1. How to use the word ‘no’ effectively.

If you saying ‘yes’ to everyone’s requests then you are saying ‘no’ to creating a life that makes you happy.  If you are happier then those around they will be attracted by your light instead of the despair of unhappiness. It’s okay to help others but you have to save something for yourself, if not, you may fill empty inside especially if you don’t feel appreciated. If you don’t know how to treat yourself well, how will you teach others how to treat you?

2. How to question everything.

In order to make informed choices in your life, you must question everything to ensure that you are not being led blindly into things that could make your life hard. We like to believe everything we see and hear but people are just human and are not always right. So do your research and pay attention to a person’s actions more than their words.

3. How to manage stress appropriately.

Life is stressful, but if you don’t have a plan to deal with stress, you may choose the wrong method that could have unfavorable consequences for you in the future. It’s all about coping skills. Some eat their stress, drink their stress, drug their stress, but what do you do? Read, dance, sing, music, exercise, write are all examples of ways to manage stress appropriately.

4. What you believe becomes your reality.

Mindset is very important so if your life is miserable this is one of the causes. Whatever your mind believes will become your truth even Mother Should Of Told Youif it’s not really true. If you let someone else take the blame for your life that makes it hard for you to change it. So always look in the mirror when you’re unhappy your answers lie there.

5. Don’t follow the crowd.

Before you do what everyone around you is doing take a step back and pay attention to make sure it’s right for you. If the crowd is wrong then you will be wrong too.  For example, everyone is taught that having a college degree will make you successful. But, that is not always the case, there are college graduates with low paying jobs and have large student loan debts to pay off which makes life really stressful.

6. Life will be very hard at times.

If you believe in yourself you will get through it. Sometimes, you may inadvertently bring hardship to yourself by making poor choices.  Mistakes are life’s lessons that are supposed to build character if you actually learn from them. If you choose to ignore them or don’t pay close attention to the lessons you will repeat them, and the consequences will be the same or worse if you refuse to change your actions.

7. Try not to care about what others think about you.

The time to care about what others think is when you want something badly and that person decides if you can get it. However, that does mean that there aren’t other ways to get what you want if something does not go your way. If you care too much about what others think it will stop you from trying new things and you lose not them.

8. Life is about experiences.

Move to a new city, travel the world, try different hobbies so you won’t get stuck in the same or similar routine your whole life. Where’s the fun in that? It may feel safe but will it make you happy? Besides, if you don’t change anything, life has a way of making things change eventually. So it’s better for you to be in control of your life instead of sitting back and letting things happen to you.

9. Only do and buy what you love.

If you feel stuck in a relationship, job or material stuff you don’t love (apartment, car, clothes) you will be miserable. Don’t tolerate or settle for things or people in your life! Make choices carefully using your heart and your head. If you feel stuck right now, you have the power to change things.  If you don’t like your job, first figure out what you like to do and see if you have the skills to do it; if not, what would it take for you to acquire those skills? Unhappy in your relationship? Is there anything you can change that might improve your relationship because you can’t control your partner only yourself. Is your relationship worth fighting for? Get rid of stuff that you don’t like because if not it will just become clutter. And do you want to live with clutter?

10. Don’t play it safe.

It’s okay to take some calculated risks, meaning you know the risk clearly and you won’t lose too much if it doesn’t work out. Playing it safe may seem easier but it could become hard when you’re older if you didn’t prepare for the future. In most cases, a little bit of sacrifice goes a long way because success and easy don’t go together. If you only do what’s easy then your life will be hard, boring and you’ll probably be unhappy. So challenge yourself to do what scares you.

11. Health is the most important asset you have.

If you don’t eat well, sleep well, exercise, manage stress well, you may have health problems that will create a poor quality of life. A life with pain, medication, fatigue, this is why you have to be aware of how food and lifestyle are affecting your health. In this life, you only get one body so take care of it has to last a lifetime so it should be your first priority.  However, your self-esteem determines how you treat yourself. If you don’t treat yourself well, let your self-awareness be your guide to figuring out why your self-esteem is low and how to change that. 

12. As you age taking care of yourself is more important.

As a culture, we tend to think that taking care of body and appearance is more important when we are young. As you age, it becomes more important to take care of yourself because your body needs your help. Some women feel that they are too old now so there is nothing they can do about the way they look but, that’s not true in the modern world. If you don’t take care of your teeth, hair, skin, body it will affect your self-esteem, self-worth and your quality of life may decline. Most women’s hair will thin, the shape will change, the skin will sag with age, and in most cases can be reversed if you put in the time and energy on yourself because you are worth it. 

13. Don’t forget your dreams.

No matter if your childhood dream is no longer an option that doesn’t mean you can’t rework your dream or create a new one. Dreams help give your life purpose without them you’ll just wonder what’s life for, and that can make you feel like you’re just surviving not living. Today, there are limitless options if you step out of your comfort zone and or negative thoughts or the feeling that it’s too late. Take the time to figure out what your dream is because you are worth it!

14. Don’t try to control your man

If you need to control your man then maybe you pick the wrong man. He is an adult before anything else, but if you try to control him he may resist like a teenager. This would make you his mother instead of his woman. If you want a healthy, loving, lasting relationship, you want to use communication and compromise instead of control and stubbornness or your bed may become very cold at night.

15. Be Mindful of everything

Pay attention to the action(s) you’re about to take in any given moment. The food you eat, the amount of money you spend, the time you waste or the trash you create that may hurt our planet. The words you say to yourself, your partner, your children, your family. This all boils down to the way you treat yourself because everything you do is a part of you and how you show up every day in every way.

16. (Bonus) – Being a Mother is hard 

Raising children especially when you have your own challenges is hard work. They don’t always listen, they talk back, they get into trouble and you learn that is very hard to fix everything even though that doesn’t stop you from trying. Some mothers have a hard time balancing their needs and their children need thereby having emotional and sometimes health challenges. Also, their self-esteem and self-confidence can decrease because they don’t have time to take care of themselves or to maintain their relationship with their partner.

I’ve worked with families, teens and single mothers who are dealing with their own challenges while having kids with special needs such as anger issues, learning disabilities, autism, and trauma for over fifteen years. I’ve seen mothers struggle to keep their family together while under financial and mental stress.

If you are having difficulty with any of these areas in your life and need help that’s okay a lot of women need help but are afraid to ask for it so they suffer in silence and that needs to end.

Also, in many communities, mental health-related challenges, unfortunately, are not discussed or dealt with in a healthy way. So my other hat as a filmmaker working on a second feature film, I’ve decided to make a film about this topic entitled “Letters For My Daughters“.

For updates, trailers, news, release dates follow movie page Click here

In some cases, you may feel your mother didn’t do her best, therefore, your life is a mess. Since you feel this way, your relationship with your mother may be broken. If your mother is still alive then you can heal together but if she’s not you’ll have to find understanding, closure, forgiveness, and peace by yourself.

Don’t let the pain from the past cause you regret, the time for healing is now.

Dahmenah

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